Depression, Hatred and Lost feelings

military wife for life

I’ve not talked about it, I don’t wan’t to talk about it. But I suppose I need to talk about it.

I feel like a black hole.

There is happiness, joy, love and peace..

There is also death, loss, anger, agony and hurt.

Why is this loss so different?

I feel anger towards my children. Towards others with little babies. It makes me sick, these feelings.

I dont hate! Who the hell am I to feel these feelings towards little people? Towards mothers who have infants? It is unrealistic, selfish and so incredibly stupid. The worst part though, I can’t stop it. I try to hide it, to not feel the way I do. But harboring these intense feelings, not talking to my husband, my Gramma, best friend or a professional, I think it may be hurting me more than helping me.

I understand that this is probably hormones. Just…

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