Something feels off.

Recover Me, Recovery.

Besides the whole “disordered eating” thing, I’ve been experiencing something odd.  I feel empty and that whole “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.  Perhaps it’s just me, but I don’t know.  I know that this is not how normal people feel — trust me, I thought about cheating on my boyfriend with a girl, stealing, and endangering myself, but this is not mania.  When I’m manic, I can’t sit still, and I don’t want to hurt myself.  I usually want to buy things when I’m manic.  This seems different.

Right now, I feel like nothing matters, and it’s like I want to hurt myself.  I want to push people away and mess with their minds.  I want them to keep coming back to me and I want to hurt them.  I suddenly don’t care about how anyone feels anymore.  I feel like there’s something wrong with me.  I don’t know…

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