“Unstable Mind” : A Maze

BPD Pieces of Me

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I woke up this morning so nauseous. So anxious. It’s like broking shattered shards of glass internally immobilizing me. Waking up from nightmares and fears of abandonment with tears wanting to pour out except they won’t. Instead they bleed inward… as I feel like I’m drowning in my own emotions of not feeling good enough. Always feeling second. It feels like dying to me. But I know to most stable people it does not. I want to scream and shout. I want to fall into someone’s arms, anyone’s arms and be held until it feels okay again. But will it feel okay? Will it ever feel okay? Will I always be second guessing myself because of the past? I feel as though even without the past I was born this way. With attachment issues. I still have Selective Mutism. It comes and goes where I am just afraid to speak…

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